The way people date has significantly changed since the rise of technology, and relationship experts say that it may be to blame for relationships ending much quicker. Sure, all of the dating apps and websites have made it easier to meet people, but keeping that spark alive can seem impossible when the majority of communication is done via text messages. This is because texting doesn’t allow for the same level of intimacy as the voice does, no matter how spicy and romantic the text messages may be. But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be done. You just need some expert tips on how to text to create intimacy, seduction and desire, so you can go send text messages that transmute into passionate, long-lasting love and that’s exactly what this article covers.
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The Golden Rules of Text Messaging and Dating
Dating has always had its unwritten rules – never pick up the phone on the first ring, don’t have sex on the first date, and wait three days to contact someone you’re interested in, to name a few. But as you can probably tell, almost all of the traditional rules no longer apply because technology has completely changed the way people date. Phone calls are rarely done, sex is done after a simple right swipe on an app and people slide into someone’s DM in seconds. However, although the old rules no longer apply, there are some new ones that can completely change the way you date, and the response you get. These rules can help you create intimacy, seduction and desire, and help you get what you want from the relationship. So, instead of sending the wrong message – quite literally, you’ll want to put these golden rules of text messaging and dating into play anytime you hit send.
Let Him Text First
If there’s one text messaging rule you want to start using, it’s this one: let the man text first. However, there are some fine details that make all the difference. For example, this rule applies to initial contact and a few times afterwards. So, the man should always be the first one to text to show interest and to spark the conversation the next couple of times. After this time frame, it’s totally fair game; anyone can text first. It’s actually recommended that the other person sends the first text message after they have received a few conversation-starters from the man. Otherwise, you run the risk of him thinking you aren’t interested if you continuously wait for him to make the first move.
So, as a general rule of thumb: let him text you the first couple of times and then, make the move and text him first once or twice before going back to waiting for him to text you to start a conversation. It’s a little bit of a cat-and-mouse game via text and it can work wonders for keeping any man on his toes.
But there is one rule that makes this rule work flawlessly: do not overthink it. If you find yourself counting how many times he has sent a text message first compared to you and you are getting stressed out about texting him in general, you’re doing it wrong. Overthinking is not going to help you create intimacy and desire through text. So, take a couple of deep breaths and go with the natural flow of the conversation, while keeping a slight eye on how many times you initiate the conversation vs. him.
If this is still too confusing, let me break it down for you bluntly: you don’t want to be the one sending all of the text messages as it can make you seem overzealous and you also don’t want to never text him first, as it can appear as if you aren’t interested. You want to have a little give and take.
Use Your Emojis… The Right Way
Emojis aren’t a bad thing, but they certainly can be if they aren’t used properly. On the other hand, when emojis are used the right way, they can play an important role in texting as they can help you send the appropriate message, emotion or vibe you’re going for.
Just think about it: a text message that says “Hi” without an emoji has an entirely different energy than the same message with a smiling face, and with a winking face. All three options have a completely different tone, simply based on the emoji used.
However, emojis should only be used sparingly and as they fit. Moderation is key.
Match Their Effort
Failing to match the effort of the person you’re texting can be detrimental to your relationship. So, you will always want to make sure that you only put in as much effort as he is. For example, if the guy you’re texting only ever sends you generic three-word messages, you definitely don’t want to reply with a long text full of emotion. The same can be said for how often or when he texts you. If he ghosts you for a couple of days and then randomly pops back into your inbox or only sends you late-night messages, match that energy.
But there is one thing you have to know when using this dating rule: it isn’t just about matching his effort in messaging. For example, if the guy you’re texting disappears for a couple of days or leaves you on read forever, it may be time to think about whether or not he even deserves any of your effort.
So, match that energy. This will ensure he knows that you aren’t sitting around just waiting for his messages… or him, which will definitely keep him interested!
Take Time to Reply
Furthering on the prior dating rule, you also want to make sure that you don’t immediately respond to all of his text messages as they come in. Now, that’s not to say that you should leave the guy you’re messaging on read or that you should always wait to reply. As mentioned previously, it’s all about maintaining a natural flow of conversation… With a bit of strategy, of course.
You don’t want to reply instantly and you don’t want to take hours to reply either. As a general rule of thumb, aim to respond to text messages within the hour the majority of the time. If you send a fast response here or there or take a couple hours to reply when you’re on vacation, that’s totally fine. Just aim to not make one or the other a habit. It’s all about finding a balance.
Do Not Sext
Here’s the scenario: you’ve met a great guy, sexual tension is at an all-time high, the conversation is flowing and messages are starting to get flirty. You’ve dropped some subtle, sexy texts and he’s dropping those winking faces with the tongue sticking out regularly.
Don’t take it to the next level… just yet.
Sexting, also known as sexy texting or sex texting, is a fun way to create chemistry and build up sexual tension. It’s also super tempting, but texting too quickly or too early into a relationship can send the wrong message. Pardon the pun.
It’s similar to having sex on the first date, which can make a man uninterested as the chase is done. They already got the “prize”. Now, it’s a little different with sexting as the actual deed has yet to be done. However, sexting can make a man’s mind shift from relationship status to casual sex. If you were to experiment with this yourself, you’d see that as soon as you send a sexy text to someone you’re interested in, the dynamic of all conversations moving forward changes to be based around sex as opposed to building chemistry and a relationship.
So, avoid having sex through text, never send nudes and don’t feed into the D-pic. All of these things can drastically backfire, no matter how tempting they may be or appropriate the timing may seem. This can change once a genuine connection has formed or your relationship status has changed.
Don’t Play Games
There is no place for games when dating or in a relationship. Nothing positive can come from them, as they are designed to play someone’s emotions and mind. Even if a relationship was to form as a result of playing games, it is likely to be short-lived simply because it isn’t genuine and head games aren’t healthy. So, forget playing hard to get, doing the silent treatment, flirting with his friends, gaslighting, and so on and so forth. They are not the way to create a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Before you swipe right or press send, you want to make sure that you know how to text and build chemistry, desire and seduction. The dating rules in this article can help you do just that, one text message at a time.
